I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
