How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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