I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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