Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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