Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
