Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
