I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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