Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
