i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
