is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am spending my child support on dildos
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
