as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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