Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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