it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
