I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
