i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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