I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
