the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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