I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
