idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Why is there bacon in the couch?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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