Where is the hickey?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
