their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think I died a long time ago.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
