I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
