do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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