one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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