...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
