then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
