Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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