sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
