We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize