Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
