she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize