So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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