So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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