she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
