Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
