So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
