question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
