Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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