i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
