How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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