She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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