if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
