I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
