That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
