dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
