I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize