Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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