I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize