I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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