just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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