I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
birth control should be required to get into college
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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