Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
