Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
