Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
