Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
