Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize