so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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