nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
