JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
