I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
