I hate all girls vehemently.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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