Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
