Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
