where does the pee come out of this thing
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
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you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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